Baby, the Stars Shine Brite
The secret life of a girl.the strange confessions and dirty little secrets of a girl.
18.10.04
I love the fall - I love the way the leaves crunch underneath my feet, the copper coloured trees, the way the smell of death and decay and wood burning fires mingles in the air... the crisp breezes and the October sun. I love the way people start wrapping up for winter, wearing heavier and richer colours, makeup becomes darker and more bold.
Yesterday was the perfect autumn day. A little warmer than anticipated, a little cool in the shade, the October sun shining down on the sidewalk and for once, I was happy to be in the city. Yes I was happy - really happy, happy to be walking with Emily and Corey to Mokabee's down Grand, happy to be skipping through the beautiful city of St. Louis.
St. Louis is a beautiful city - lovely artichetcture. Old houses so cheap - gorgeous houses I would die to own. Beautiful streets and pretty picturesque areas around town. Nice coffee houses that are open twenty four hours where you can feel free to sit outside and write. I wish I were in Paris, London, Greece - but for one day, it didn't matter and I didn't want to be anywhere but here.
"Letter from the Anoretic"
From 58 to twenty four my mind flew out the door
from 43 to thirty two, I only ever wanted you
from 38 to thirty four, I never ever asked for more
from 30 to twenty two, I never wanted to....
from 2,000 to a hundred I fell into a masochistic wonderland
where showers are long and cold as Russian winters,
hard pins driving into backs, hips, tits, and bones exposed
where worlds separate, I am ashamed of what I've ate
midterm midnight ice cream rush, leaves me shattered in uncomfortable lust
my inflatable waist and ever expandable ass far too much for his hand to grasp
nights are spent running, looking for peace -look just shut up okay, I know it hurts, keep going dammnit, you're not that weak - you can't be weak, what do you mean you have needs, no that's not right, no you don't, you don't really mean that, need that, eat that, feel that, think that, wear that ...
makeup becomes a saviour, that makes you look alive
concealer covers the dark black circles, foundation gives a tint of colour to the pallid face,
lipstick adds character and rouge a little life
eyeshadow adds to the illusion everything it all right,
coal black eyeliner hides the manic visible in your eyes
bra, t-shirt, sweater, jacket, coat, blouse
collarbone, shoulderblade, spinal cord, ribs, hip bone, wrist, femur....
heaven forbid your ankles be thick
Yesterday was the perfect autumn day. A little warmer than anticipated, a little cool in the shade, the October sun shining down on the sidewalk and for once, I was happy to be in the city. Yes I was happy - really happy, happy to be walking with Emily and Corey to Mokabee's down Grand, happy to be skipping through the beautiful city of St. Louis.
St. Louis is a beautiful city - lovely artichetcture. Old houses so cheap - gorgeous houses I would die to own. Beautiful streets and pretty picturesque areas around town. Nice coffee houses that are open twenty four hours where you can feel free to sit outside and write. I wish I were in Paris, London, Greece - but for one day, it didn't matter and I didn't want to be anywhere but here.
"Letter from the Anoretic"
From 58 to twenty four my mind flew out the door
from 43 to thirty two, I only ever wanted you
from 38 to thirty four, I never ever asked for more
from 30 to twenty two, I never wanted to....
from 2,000 to a hundred I fell into a masochistic wonderland
where showers are long and cold as Russian winters,
hard pins driving into backs, hips, tits, and bones exposed
where worlds separate, I am ashamed of what I've ate
midterm midnight ice cream rush, leaves me shattered in uncomfortable lust
my inflatable waist and ever expandable ass far too much for his hand to grasp
nights are spent running, looking for peace -look just shut up okay, I know it hurts, keep going dammnit, you're not that weak - you can't be weak, what do you mean you have needs, no that's not right, no you don't, you don't really mean that, need that, eat that, feel that, think that, wear that ...
makeup becomes a saviour, that makes you look alive
concealer covers the dark black circles, foundation gives a tint of colour to the pallid face,
lipstick adds character and rouge a little life
eyeshadow adds to the illusion everything it all right,
coal black eyeliner hides the manic visible in your eyes
bra, t-shirt, sweater, jacket, coat, blouse
collarbone, shoulderblade, spinal cord, ribs, hip bone, wrist, femur....
heaven forbid your ankles be thick
