No matter how hard one tries sometimes the tears keep coming - and it's not that I don't like university; but it's more that I had expected and hoped for so much more. Everyone always tells you that things change, people change, things are so much different and you'll really love college. The really unfortunate thing is, no one tells you what to do when things don't change, people haven't changed, and NOTHING is different and worst of all there's no one to ask what to do. When university is just like high school what are you supposed to do?
Transfer? Throw in the towel completely? Hang in there and hope next semester things will get better? Everyone has their own roommate horror stories, freshman fifteen panic, midterm meltdown, or freshman slump don't they?
Except, what if the roommate horror story makes you want to curl up and disappear - constantly. What if the freshman 15 panic is a negative 15, negative 25, negative 30.... What do you do when the midterm meltdown has absolutely nothing to do with coursework at all and the freshman slump is a downward spiral of depression eating you alive?
I'm not homesick, not for my "home." I prefer the isolated loneliness of school to that any day. I am not stressed out about my work - I am aware that I really should be concered that I keep skipping latin and I'm not doing so hot in the first place or that I didn't get to turn in that theology assignment because of my stupid printer not working and not going somewhere to print. I am however, horribly upset by my living conditions. My roommate and suitemates hate me, and I don't know why. If they had ever talked to me maybe I could find a reason - as they never did, I can't. This entire hallway seems to hate me and I didn't even do anything.
But now, I really need to quit crying, make myself look respectable, and go to class - I've skipped enough classes lately.