My feminism is no secret - and my loving father has stated many times he (and my mother) will be terribly glad when I "grow out of this stage" and "get over that feminist bullshit."
It's true, I could simply be polite and not label myself as "liberal" - which to my father means "radical" ... Except I cannot deny my own radicalness. I am not a radical however, because I believe women are people too, should have just as many rights, and that all humanity should be equal as such: members of the human race. I am not a radical because I organize and participate in political demonstrations such as the march on school of the Americas, have been arrested in a protest against the war in Iraq, a die in raising AIDS awareness, and multiple times and above all been politically active and vocal about abortion - more specifically a woman's right to choose have and be able to obtain one safely. (I may be a radical for my belief that everyone should have the right to alter their own consciousness at will, do this regularly, and for many other practices and ideals I adhere to.)
But my own fear of motherhood does not lie at the root of this belief or any other feminist doctrine that I would gladly defend.
As I watched my father badger my brother earlier today I realized it was just that which lies at the heart of my feminist tendencies. Perhaps, if I had grown up in a household like many of my neighbor's and classmates at my lovely Jesuit university where everyone was believed to be a person, allowed to have privacy, feelings, ideas, and listened to even if then reprimanded and patiently explained why they were "wrong" ... I might not feel so strongly about things that I do. I might take my aunt's advice and "shut up and look pretty" and be just fine with the fact that "powerful men don't want strong, independent women." But I'm not.
I grew up hearing assume things like "I'm your friend, stupid" and "what you think doesn't matter, I'm the father" and "Well I'm the husband Tami, so why are you so stupid you can't support me" when he was clearly wrong. I think that this sort of upbringing can only diminish respect for authority: especially that male authority - the idea that husbands and fathers are the head of households and power is not exactly shared. Followed by the idea that being a male, in a household, automatically earns respect and obedience is love. I beg to differ - I do not want a tyrant. I simply want a partner; I would like a partner who has my best interests at heart as certainly has he has his own but if they are not I have no problem with ending a relationship.
I think that this may possibly make me a feminist ... But one would hope it's not a phase as I can't see any harm in having enough self respect and self love to notice that I am a person entitled to every right of every other person.