It's Christmastime, and for me, that means I *have* to spend time with my family. This is the only time of the year I might actually get stuff from them: in the form of gifts. So, every year I have to think of everything I will need to spend money on in the course of a year, and ask for that for Christmas. Just so they will actually get things off the list, I throw in a few frivolous things that I might enjoy but aren't at the top of the list since I don't actually *need* them - like an ipod nano. Totally useless compared to facial cleanser, new trousers, and underwear but things I really, really need. Oddly enough, I did get the nano. Not the other stuff - which although make boring presents are sorely needed.
Presents are not the point though: I have to interact with my family. That's pretty much it. I have to interact with my family and although I've been informed (mostly by them, and rudely) that the painfulness of this should be over by now and how completely immature I am that it's not, and of course accused left and right of having "problems." What they are, aside from my family is crazy and I believe anyone finds interacting with them downright painful related or not, someone PLEASE tell me. My parents always choose someone, whose company I generally enjoy, to take out their frustrations about their daughter on. Last year it was Charlie, a friend I was fucking. The year before that they bitched about my boyfriend - they are never happy with boyfriends. When I was in highschool I supposed that was their right but now I think it's not and they need to shut the fuck up.
First and foremost... I am HAPPY. No, really, I am so happy with this boy I scarcely believe it and am forever just waiting to wake up. Except I don't. I'm not saying it's like a fairytale - we do have problems. We have serious financial issues. He's irresponsible with money and prone to doing stupid shit. I'm always afraid he'll do something to stupid and I'll have to break up with him. I'm no picnic to date: I regularly engage in risky behavior and when I get upset instead of talking to you about it I'll buy a pint of ice cream and puke. I have, due to depression and attempting eating disorder recovery, gained some weight looking less than my usual gorgeous. Thankfully, so has he and we're a cute couple if somewhat pudgy. Kandikids can always make up for the occasional weight gain - I just pray I'm not actually pregnant.
But he makes me happy. So what if I foot the bill for a lot of things: scarily enough, I have the most money at the moment. Fuck gender roles - I mean, I am lately coming to admire Britney Spears. I admire how she and Mr. Spears (come on, who're we kidding, she has the power in that relationship) have flipped gender roles - if more silly pop stars would do that maybe it would make it okay when in a young couple the young lady holds the purse strings and is aggressive. I mean, it's about time! And anyway I'm sick and tired of waiting around for prince charming.
Actually I found one awhile ago - and you know what? He can go to hell; I am not a commodity, I cannot be bought, and I certainly am not impressed by your money.
I'm perfectly happy with this boy and if my parents can't see that or resent me too much to care about that I am not so sorry to say - I don't actually give a damn.