Baby, the Stars Shine Brite

The secret life of a girl.the strange confessions and dirty little secrets of a girl.

13.5.05

Everything gone white, everything's grey. Now You're Here Now You're Away..

I am so up and down recently - it scares even me. One day life is good, the next I want to lie in bed and cry. I'd by lying if I said I didn't know why or what triggers these things but at the same time I don't know what to do about it. The solutions I do come up with only present more problems - and the same ones over and over. I have no fucking clue what to do.

Jesus I just feel like dying - but I lack the energy to actually do anything about that as well so either way I'm fucked.

I want him to love me - I want him just to care and he won't and doesn't and ... ugh.

but I did write this today

I hate morning afters
heavy limbed
and slow aches
- empty, tragicly hollow
embarassed at my nakedness.
Mornings after amazing nights,
which pale in comparison
to the memories - or nonmemories - left over.
I hate mornings after.

posted by Tragic the Pixie @ 5/13/2005 07:30:00 PM

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"Father Forgive Me" (later renamed "Baby, the Stars Shine Brite") was started in the hope that a confessional blog would be entertaining reading as well as intellectual. After being neglected for some years is now, rather anonymously written in the hopes of hashing out thoughts in a somewhat intelligent manner. Aside from the writer of this blog, I am a university student majoring in Women's Studies and minoring in English at a prominent Catholic university in Middle America. A dedicated liberal - I also throw and participate fully in raves and rave culture from DJing, to lights and sound crew, to doing homework in legal libraries I'll be there - in true Riot Grrrl style: usually a miniskirt, combat boots, and wildly dyed hair. Aside from considering law school and entering politics I hope to start an organization wherever I end up providing a safe place for teenage girls (and boys) and helping their voices be heard as well as providing information on sex, condoms, and anything under the sun that kids may need. I am currently engaged to a wonderful man and hope to be married sometime around November of 2008.
Together in electric dreams