So, I definitely can't eat. No matter what it is, or how little I can't keep it down. I'm not sure if it's just me being bulimic or maybe I'm just upset. Probably the latter because you know even thinking of eating makes me sick. At the same time, I know I should eat. Not eating and taking these pills is making me even sicker than I would be as my life just sort of fell apart....(maybe anyway)A fact which I notice I'm really not acknowledging. I haven't cried actually... I tried to, I really did, but I couldn't. I still don't feel anything. Just left with this absolutely strange numbness. I want someone to hold me and tell me it'll be ok while I cry: I also realise that if no one touches me I'll never break and because I have that whole I-can't-cry-in-front-of-people complex even then it would be hard. But still... I just want someone here to hold me and tell me it's ok. I should stop fighting this but I don't know how. Furthermore, I realise no one (except Dave) loves me enough to hold me while I cry.
Actually just straight up no one loves me and that's my fault for being such an unlovable bitch.

ah no wait... here come the tears but fuck... I have class.