There has been much recent press about how well girls do in school and how harmful schooling practices in the United States are to boys. I used to agree and say yes - little girls learn differently, we're harming little boys, we should change things ... But now you know what? I think it's Bullshit. It might be the same brand of whiney-Bullshit white men tend to espouse when they end up working at Taco Bell because they lived their life assuming that because of their privileged position as a white man they didn't have to be as good or work as hard or get a degree. Maybe it's the some psycho-babble Bullshit trying to account for the assumed supremacy of men. Maybe it's because we left little boys get away with anything - because they're cute little boys and discipline girls. I think that's it.
I also think it's interesting that by the time high school rolls around: girls are no longer statistically ahead of boys. So why does the same "the educational system is unfair to me" whining still get acknowledged?? Male privilege. That's it.
But it's not the educational system I'm really talking about here, test scores are merely an indication of the problem.
Here's another example:
When I am sitting in a classroom - I feel stupid. I cannot sit in the front of the class, because then I'm convinced the entire classroom is looking at me and just waiting for me to say something stupid or staring at my ass. I constantly wonder "is something unappealing showing, like roles of fat?" "I hope my hair looks okay." "what if you can see how nervous I am... Did I just fidget?! Ohmigod... Did I make a noise?" I want more than anything else to slip in quietly to the back, listen to the professor lecture, write a paper or two, get a good grade, and slip quietly back out that door.
No - that is NOT what I really want to do. Not at all. I want to be remembered. I'd like to make the rest of the student body respect me and recognize me for the intelligent if somewhat "different" individual I am.
But as soon as I am in a classroom the only thing I can hope to do is slip into a seat at the back of the room and pray I don't get called on unless I feel like I can REALLY answer the question: that is be absolutely, perfectly, beyond a doubt correct. And even then sometimes, I do not raise my hand. I am actually dumb and simply cannot find the courage to speak. Not even to my neighbor to make small talk or ask if I can retrieve my pen which has fallen under his (or her) chair.
I know I am not alone in this anxiety. I know a few female friends, fellow lurkers in the backrow of literature classrooms, who feel exactly the same way. Judging by the recent influx of third wave feminist texts in popular bookstores, it seems a number of women and girls in academia do.
This I fear is not a mistake, not some freak problem, but a systematic construction. Because I have no trouble finding when and where and why this started. In fact, I was a precocious child known for talking for hours on end. Asking a million and five questions and relating just about everything that I noticed - much to the chagrin of my grandmother who babysat me. To this day, my family will tell you I am not shy.
But somewhere along the line I lost any ability to speak - at times I cannot talk above a whisper; especially when ordering at restaurants. (I sincerely apologies to all waiters I've had over the years.) I realized this is because these were things that I was simply not allowed to do: I was not allowed to speak, to think, to be intelligent or, more importantly, opinionated. After years of being told to "shut up", that I didn't matter (because I was not the father or the mother), never to correct your elders, if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all, and that no one will ever love me if I get angry, say no, criticize, or ask them for things ... I am left with a pronounced inability to speak. Growing up all I heard (and still hear) is how this or that opinion is "unbecoming" of a lady or that I am the only one who feels that way ... What I observe is invalid because those were "different times" when people "had respect" and I should have respect (with the implication that if I don't, I am not lovable) or better yet that "that's just how things are" and you can't change them - so, I had best shut up before the world sees how "ugly" I am.
I know I am beautiful. In fact, I suspect I might actually be slightly superficially beautiful or I would not get away with half the shit I do. I know I am intelligent and probably right most of the time. And I know that at least one person loves me, even if a lot of the time I convince myself I should doubt this.
And yet, I find it impossible to stand up for myself or even speak.

Okay, so this is my geek-dom rant of the month (I hope, but there will probably be more since I'll be on summer break soon) ... But I REALLY get annoyed and HAD to say something.

This whole credit for graphics thing has gone too far. It's one thing to request credit for something you drew or a picture you took: that's your original work and you SHOULD have credit. I guess, since culturally that's what we tell people in much of the Western world - you do things to be recognized not to necessarily make an impact on greater ideals or share something beautiful. Fine, whatever, have it your way.
But I ain't gonna credit you for cutting and pasting, copying, animating, or otherwise altering another's image, okay! This is something I see on LJ all the time - an insistence for "icon makers" or other graphic "artists" to get credit for putting a glitter fill in a pre-drawn image or animating an image or changing text on a blinkey. None of which they have actually taken the time to make. Okay - you are all wonderful, talented people and I sincerely thank you for pimping my blog: but I'm NOT going to credit you when I don't think any more than Thanks is due.
Fist I have to say there's a complete difference between this:

Which is a mostly original work by ... Well actually I am not sure, chmedhal I believe but someone from Sassy Layouts and:

which is NOT an original image at all - but something obviously drawn by someone else. Disney no less - if you want to get in specifics of credit, they can (and might, as they often do tend to get a stick up their ass about things I consider frivolous) make you take your image down for infringing on their legal copyrite.
ordinarily I wouldn't care but often I see people kicked out of communities not for giving "proper" credit to people - and really I just have to say. You do not get credit for adding J and my names to this:

.. Which I appreciate but I also realize the person who added them did not make those dolls and if anyone deserves "credit" for the graphic, the person who drew those does! Not the animator! Animating something doesn't make you the creator. This is not a movie script it's the internet - it's shareware - it's free use shareware and frankly I find it damn annoying when drama queens (and kings) want credit for work that's not even theirs!
What lies at the root of this problem for me is that there are AMAZING graphic artists out there who draw dolls, design backgrounds, and other artists who make amazing drawings and are kind enough to allow them to be on the internet, knowing that someone is going to steal their hard work and manipulate it to suit their needs. These are the people who genuinely deserve more than thanks but credit. Other people like Disney, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The X-Files, and countless unknown fashion photographers who's add in Vouge would go unremembered if someone didn't make it into something else don't depend on this kind of non-paid consumer support and may not really appreciate having their images used. How often are these people credited? That's right: almost never.
So - next time you put up your little "please credit" spiel... Save it, I'm not listening. I thank you for being more creative in your plagiarism than I am. I thank you for taking time out of your busy life to do this. I am not putting your name on a stolen image. I am not claiming it as my own work either - I will happily refer someone to you to get their own copy of whatever of they like; but I suspect I won't have to they're just going to right-click and it's theirs! And you can bet your name won't be on their site for the image they stole from mine: you may say that's my fault but that's okay with me: I only credit those who deserve it. Really.